Do you ever wake up and say, “Today’s the day! I’m going to make that change. I’m going to be Super Mom.”

You tell yourself, “I’m going to get all the laundry done, cook, clean, take care of the baby, and still manage to smile through it all.”

And then… halfway through the day, you’re exhausted.

You didn’t finish everything.

You forgot something.

You feel like you’re lacking.

Hello, Mommy Guilt.

Can anyone relate?

There are so many different forms of mom guilt. There’s the guilt of working moms who feel like they don’t spend enough time at home. Then there’s moms like me—stay-at-home moms—who still carry guilt because we aren’t doing all the things others seem to manage with ease.

Some moms make it look easy. But let me tell you—it’s not.

Never in a million years did I think I’d be more tired staying at home with a baby than I ever was working an eight-hour office job. Funny how life shifts, right? And of course, it’s all worth it. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

And let’s talk about conversation. Ever feel like you don’t have anything to say when you do get adult time? Like your whole world revolves around your baby—and when you try to talk to someone about work, you feel a little out of place?

This past year has been the most rewarding and blessed—but also one of the hardest and most life-changing years I’ve experienced.

Some days, I feel like I’m not even myself anymore. My world revolves around my sweet baby boy (which is beautiful), but I’ve realized I also need to have an identity outside of being a mom and spouse.

And then boom—more guilt.

I catch myself thinking, “It’s not about me anymore. I need to focus only on him.”

But truthfully? If I don’t take care of me, I can’t show up as the best version of myself for him.

Another thing people don’t talk about enough: being a stay-at-home mom is a blessing, yes—but it’s also really hard work.

Even with my spouse, I’ll sometimes feel guilty if dinner isn’t ready. Maybe I was running errands all day. Maybe I just needed a rest day. He works 13–14 hour days to provide for us, and I want him to come home to a warm, home-cooked meal. That doesn’t always happen—and even when it doesn’t, I struggle to give myself grace.

What Is Mom Guilt?

According to Talkspace:

“Mom guilt is an emotional experience that encompasses feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and inadequacy. It often stems from the belief that you made an incorrect parental choice.”

To me, mom guilt is about unrealistic expectations—ones we put on ourselves or absorb from others. It’s that voice that says, “You’re not doing enough,” even when you’re doing your best.

My Top 3 Mom Guilt Triggers

1.) Comparison

“How is she able to go to work, cook, clean, take care of the kids and still make time for herself? Meanwhile, I’m at home struggling to check everything off my list.”

2.) Socializing

When I do get adult time, sometimes I feel like I have nothing to talk about besides my baby. Not everyone wants to hear about kids 24/7—and I get that. But it can still feel isolating.

3.) Not Contributing Financially

Seeing my spouse work so hard makes me feel like I should be doing more. I’ve caught myself thinking, “Maybe I should get a job so he doesn’t have to carry so much.” But then I remember—we planned for this. This is something we decided on together.

How I Manage My Mommy Guilt

1.) Creative Outlets

Selling my custom coffee mugs gives me a creative outlet and helps me feel like I’m contributing in a small way. Find a hobby or project you love—it doesn’t have to make money. Just give yourself a space that’s yours.

2.) Getting Out of the House

Lazy days are part of it, but I try to leave the house daily—even if it’s just a walk to the park with Matteo. (Check my last blog post for more ideas on getting out as a stay-at-home mom!) Visiting family, tagging along on lunch breaks—it all helps.

3.) Seeking Support

Find someone who supports you. A friend, family member, counselor, therapist—just someone you can trust. Don’t carry it all alone.

Final Thoughts

If you’re a first-time mom and still in your first year, give yourself grace.

You’re doing a great job. Seriously.

I’ve had to learn not to stress over things outside of my control. Pay attention to your thoughts—sometimes they can spiral into overthinking when all you really need is a moment to breathe.

You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to keep showing up.

You’ve got this, girlie. 💛

~GOD BLESS